I’ve been sold the fantasy of the “effortless” life: the girl who never stresses over the piles of homework, never cries at sad movies and never tries too hard to be funny or liked.

For far too long, I tried my hardest to look like I didn’t care about anything because I was told that’s the key to looking cool. But nonchalance should not be celebrated; it’s far more admirable to express our emotions freely.a

Now is not the time to pretend that we’re okay, that we don’t care. With the loneliness epidemic running rampant and polarization more prevalent than ever, it’s hard for us to connect in the first place. Pretending emotions are uncool is the last thing we need.

Nonchalance erases the emotional, relatable aspects of being human. We cling to nonchalance
because it feels safe. If we don’t show excitement, we can’t be embarrassed. If we pretend we don’t care, we won’t be disappointed.

Indifference becomes a shield that hides the simple truth that most of us are terrified of looking like we tried. I should never be worried that showing I care comes off as overbearing or obsessive. What kind of life is it if all we care about is suppressing our excitement
and emotions? I love being extra. I love being loud. I love to overdramatize every situation in my life.

I want to know about everything going on in my friends’ lives because I want them to see my genuine interest in them, not because I am obsessive or desperate.

I reject nonchalance by being dramatic and showing the people I love that I care about them. If being perceived as loud or “too much” is the outcome, they are qualities I will proudly embrace.

Caring isn’t embarrassing; it’s human. We don’t need more people pretending not to feel. We
need more people brave enough to show that they do.