Freed Photography
“Do I look good in this?”
We’ve all had someone ask us this and we don’t know what to do because their outfit is not great. The options are simple. Lie and spare their feelings or be honest. I used to avoid answering these questions until I realized that there is only one correct option: be honest.
Once during peer review I was admittedly tearing my partner’s essay apart and when it was time to switch back I was worried I upset them. They were fine but I, on the other hand, was irritated. I opened my essay and found a singular “good job” comment per paragraph.
I was annoyed, because even though my partner was nice to me, they were not honest. We need the truth to help us work on ourselves just like we need it to help us work on our essays.
The drawback to honesty is that it does upset people sometimes. What I have come to realize is that unsolicited honesty is just judgment, and that is what hurts people. This is the reason why it would be impossible to be honest at every opportunity.
It took me most of high school to find the line between honesty and judgment, and the reality is that I am still working on it. I can’t really tell you how you find that line, but what I can tell you is that you will not get there by being nice to everyone. Being nice is not how to get to fully know people, and you cannot be honest with a person you do not really know.
I am not telling anyone to be mean, but what I am saying is that when faced with the choice of being mean or nice, just be honest instead.